Family mediators and hearing the voice of the child

As part of Family Mediation week we are focussing on what this can look like in practice. Separating or divorcing with children can bring a new set of concerns and worries.

Considering listening to and including children’s opinions can be an important part of the divorce, separation or family mediation process. Children and young people of 10 and over do have a right to have their views heard in matters which affect them and their future.

Child Inclusive Mediation gives children or young people the opportunity to meet and talk with a trained mediator who helps parents to sort issues and concerns within families, because of a separation or divorce. This process can help children or young people too, whether parents are getting on well, or arguing about what should happen.

Children and young people can think they have nothing much to say, that no one will listen or care, that they are not important, or that whatever they say will make no difference anyway. They may also feel under pressure to say what they think one or other of their parents want them to say. Child inclusive mediators are specially trained to listen to what children and young people have to say because their views are important.

Children and young people decide if they want the mediator to pass their thoughts to parents or not. The mediator will check this out carefully and agree exactly what is to be kept confidential and what they would like the mediator to feed back.

The only exception to this confidentiality would be if any concerns about safety arose.

The Family Mediators Association have produced a short video helping explain how this process may look to separating parents, or those going through divorce. You can access it through this link on YouTube..

This video can help introduce the framework and aims to clarify what Child Inclusive Mediation involves.