Mediation in many circumstances
Looking at how mediation can bring about a ‘fair’ resolution for all, that all clients can live with, without the costs or stress of the courtroom.
What the Law Says…
The Children and Families Act 2014 made it compulsory for most separating couples who wanted to make an application to court related to their children or finances to attend a MIAM. This term means a ‘Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting,’ which can sound confusing or even intimidating.
Need I go…?
The important thing to note is that mediation is voluntary. It is compulsory to attend a MIAM, but this does not mean a couple must start mediation. Also important to note is the focus. The spotlight is shifted away from guilt, blame and reparations, towards making the future for the couple, and crucially, any children, as liveable, fair and just as possible. Both clients can leave with a sense of: ‘I can live with this.’ This is essential, particularly when any children are involved. It tends towards a future which may not be perfect, but where each couple can move in and look to a future unclouded by the past.
No fault divorce and focus on the future.
The new move towards no fault divorce may well also help shift the outdated (although understandable and very human!) central point of contention from acrimony and ‘getting even’ to looking at the best future possible. It facilitates moving on, which may encompass time to grieve for the past.
Let us look at power and safety
There may well be cases where mediation is not a safe or desirable option. Where there has been domestic abuse, or one or both clients feel unsafe. However a professional and trained accredited mediator is a specialist in picking up any such power imbalance. It is their job to assist both clients to share their views and speak up, or to end the mediation process should it be judged inappropriate or unsafe. A professional mediator will also be able to assist with a shuttle mediation, where each client need not see the other or have any face to face contact. There is also the possibility and flexibility for a cop-mediation with each client having a lawyer present.
Flexibility and serving the clients best
As we see, he beauty of mediation is its flexibility and adaptability. With the focus on the future and freer methods of working which serve both clients with humanity and compassion, greater and faster dispute resolution can be achieved. A trained and professional mediator will use these attributes within professional boundaries, to keep each party safe. This can protect against any bullying, power imbalance, intimidation or manipulation; all of which may be legitimate concerns for couples or clients attending mediation for the first time.
There is also the option of a co-mediation, with one lawyer and a non-lawyer. The lawyers can still be on hand to give advice and assist. Mediation imparts control but it also does not cut a client adrift without any support and the process is boundaried and supported.
Speak up! It is your space
Remember that the floor is yours in mediation, you are in control. It is perfectly OK to ask questions, take a break or share any fears or queries you may have. Below is a list of resources which may assist with any questions but a mediator will also be able to discuss any concerns.
https://resolution.org.uk/looking-for-help/
https://www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk/family-mediation/assessment-meeting-miam/