Voice of the child in family mediation
Including children in some of the decisions that must be taken whilst you are establishing how your new life will look post divorce or separation can be known as considering the ‘voice of the child’.
The ‘traffic light model’ has been useful to help make decisions in family mediation.
In family mediation, the voice of the child is all about including your children in decisions when splitting up, where appropriate. These decisions can form part of maintaining boundaries with children, which can in turn help them feel safe, contained and loved. Feeling insecure can leave children with behavioural issues, anxiety or emotional difficulties and stress. A great positive thing to do can be including children on some appropriate decisions, without placing the burden on them to decide and be overly responsible.
Resolution talk about using the models to help make decisions involving children.
When making decisions, one thing that can be help is the idea of a ‘traffic light system’. The traffic light system is usually appropriate to start at age 5 and up. Children can have a voice in the green and amber areas, to help them feel included and involved.
Green decisions include – simpler decisions such as: Which friends do they want to see, foods they eat, clothes to wear, how much screen time should they have?
Amber – for significant but not critical decisions. These can include boundaries about studying or homework, when they can go out/ be at home, what time is it time for bed and sleep (devices off), travel to and from school.
Red – Crucial decisions. These decisions can relate to where children live, the proportion of time they spend with each parent, how holidays are divided, the school they will attend.
It is best not to include children when a decision will likely contentious, or there is going to be tricky emotions surrounding it.
You can read more at: https://resolution.org.uk/parenting-through-separation/how-important-is-the-voice-of-the-child/